They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
