i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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