I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
