is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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