yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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