One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
