I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
