He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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