Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
