I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
