I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.