Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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