I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize