im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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