im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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