Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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