i just wanna soil my oats bro
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
