If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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