Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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