dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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