We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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