she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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