Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
