So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
