Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
