You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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