found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
