hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
