Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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