Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
