This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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