Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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