he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
