As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
