Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
