Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
