How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think my vagina is haunted
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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