Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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