He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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