They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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