what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
