I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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