I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize