I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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