So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The struggles of a small town man whore
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
