saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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