I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes