did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why did my mother make you get naked?