He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
