singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
