Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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