I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
