I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
