2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
