Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
