Welp...herpes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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