I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
