Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
