My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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