I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
