C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
