I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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