So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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