She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
