I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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