this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She announced her abortion via fbk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
