He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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