do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
