I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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