I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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