Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
