The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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