So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
