she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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